Newness

I sat at the coffee shop nervous as can be about who I was going to be. He walked in and smiled. I took a deep breath. He was cuter in person.

We walked around and found a nice little spot to eat at. I ordered steak. He ordered all you can eat mussels. He stared at me from across the table. He disarmed me as we talked about nothing.

He intrigues me. He so warm and sweet and let's face it...I need that in my life. He drove me home and I was just staring at him. He's not the cutest but I like him. I threw my stuff down and got a haircut. As I was sitting in my chair, I was like...oh man...I like someone...wow.

Earlier in the day, I met up with a guy from my church I have a tiny crush on. I probably gave him a moniker in the past. I don't remember it, so I'll call him BG. He's my age but is doing amazing things. He owns his own real estate company and is just...so inspiring. I like him because he's really into Jesus, too. He's on a fast where he's just drinking water and eating nuts and berries. Crazy stuff.

Anyways, we had a really good conversation. I love talking to the alpha males/male entrepreneurs I know. They give me awesome advice that is really like...leave boys alone and work work work.

They reason that women will always be there.

Tonight, I talked to a guy who is also an entrepreneur and where was he? At the club showing me pictures of his 2-week old baby daughter. It really did not compute for me. I just walked away. Business is business, they say.

I worked with another makeup artist who had 3times as many brushes as I did and like 4times as much makeup. I felt like mold for real. Like...maybe I wasn't ready for this step I've taken. There's really no room for doubt in this life I've chosen. All I know is that there are some things I need to get me, you know.